Friday, March 2, 2007

Canada's Biggest Douche

I'm sitting in a Second Cup on Queen St in Toronto as I type this. Seated at the table directly to my left are 2 people. A woman who is apparently the manager of a branch of a financial institution that shall remain nameless, and a man who could easily qualify as the biggest douche in Canada.

To support this claim, I present to you the following statistics of the conversation I've had no choice but to overhear due to proximity and the douche in question's unnecessary volume.

Number of times a question has been proceeded by the word "Question:" - 12
Number of uses of the phrase "Think outside the box" - 9
(statistics based on roughly 15-20 minutes of yammering)

I add to the pool of evidence one "forehead wedge" style haircut, one button-down shirt which is painfully tight at the neck and one peach-fuzz goatee. Listening to this ass shoot his mouth off makes me feel remarkably justified in my decision to abandon working in office environments.

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